Entry 5

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mouthed these words as I shot a stare of disbelief across the meeting table.

My youth group leader caught my stare and flashed his signature winsome smile in return. It was obvious that he was very pleased with his idea to begin with. Or was it my reaction that he was enjoying?

Then I shifted my glance across nervously to the far right corner of the meeting table.

Her fingers were doing legerdemain with her pen as she hung onto every word in the meeting. There was no change in her expression. My guess was that she was oblivious to the telepathic protest I was engaging with him that moment. And so was everyone else in the room.

Half of me wanted to shoot right through the ceiling in excitement, the other half of me wanted to shoot him instead. With such disunity boiling inside me, it was a wonder that I could still keep a composed front and let my legs do the fidgeting under the table unnoticed at the same time.

“So shall I leave this to both of you to work on together on your own?”

“No problem,” she said cheerfully, with a notch of confidence.

My stomach twisted in uncertainty. “Yeah,” I said, trying to mirror her enthusiasm. It would be heartbreaking for me to say no since she already gave her full support for his idea.

“Hey,” she turned towards me. “Let’s do our best, yeah?” she said in an encouraging tone. Her eyes squinted as she nodded her head.

Her words struck me with motivation.

Look at her, I thought. She is all prepared and willing to serve even though she already knew how heavy this responsibility is. Why are all these self-doubts in you?

I mustered up.

“Awesome,” I smiled. “I can always learn a thing or two from you about emceeing.”

“Glad to share,” she replied. “Looking forward to working with you.”

My youth group leader stretched himself back on his chair with a satisfied grin. I turned to him and gave him a nod. Once again, I admited that he really knew his stuff as a leader when it came to planning and decision-making.

Indeed, God, it is amazing to see how You bless each person with unique gifts to serve.